Reasons why I am not a Londoner….

londonSo a couple of weeks ago I spent 8 days living in London with my job, which was very fun! My colleagues and I rented an apartment in Liverpool Street and I was running a pop-up bar in the 1901 Wine Bar in the Andaz Hotel for one of my sparkling wine clients, Franciacorta (try it – its delicious!!!) As much as I had a great week and could not be more thankful for the opportunity and experience, I could not wait to get back to Bristol!

London friends before you shout at me, I am not denying London isn’t cool and exciting, but it just doesn’t do it for me and here are a few reasons why:

borrisLondoners are grumpy (unless you know them). I am by no means saying that everyone who lives in London is grumpy, but generally when you are walking around no one smiles, says ‘excuse me’ or even cares about anything else around them. Also it is ridiculous the amount of times I have experienced that awkward moment when you cross paths with a fellow commuter, go the same way and do a weird side step dance for what feels like a decade!!! Speaking from experience – in this situation, do not giggle as its apparently not funny and Londoners do not have time for this silly behaviour!

overcrowded_D_20090603151206The tube. Firstly, it is a playground for germs. Commuting on the tube in rush hour was one of the most stressful experiences of my life. As I was walking down to the platform I was mentally preparing myself for the heat, lack of space and general smell. Actually the smell in the morning was quite pleasant, fresh deodorant and herbal essences, but MY GOD on the way home, pretty much pure B.O (especially if you’re not the tallest of people and you find your head in some tall blokes armpit). Also if someone sneezes apparently no one says ‘bless you’ and if you do everyone stares at you because pleasantries are now weird. (No word of a lie I am currently sat on a cross-country train to Weston and I sneezed – guess what? Some lovely girl said, ‘Bless you!!’ – my faith in humanity is restored). Also the tube map – WTF?!

Oh Ryan!

Oh Ryan!

Choice of food. I am a massive foodie and love discovering a new place to eat and telling everyone about it. Staying on top of recent additions is difficult enough in Bristol where there is a new place popping up every two minutes, but in London its impossible to stay in the know. My ‘Around me’ app nearly had a head-fit when I asked if to find all nearby restaurants – so many different types of food – how is a girl to choose!

Feel her pain...

Feel her pain…

Nights out. London has some of the best clubs and I am not disputing the fact that the nightlife is better than Bristol, it is! My problem is when it comes to leaving the club. In Bristol you can be out of the club, remove your heels, hop over to Jason Donervan, grab your chicken wrap, jump in a taxi and be at home in your PJs eating your wrap within 20 mins. In London however there is so much walking, the late night buses are cold and take forever, taxis are super expensive and your food will most definitely be freezing by the time you get home.

UJ_Magnet_PoundHefty price tag. London can be very expensive, especially when you need to find a decent place to rent on a tight (client) budget. Also never trust any website that claims the room is ‘spacious’ – this is most definitely referring to London standards or dwarf standards – take your pick.

Cycle commuting stockCyclists. There are so many cyclists in London – I think I have nearly been run over more times by a cyclist in London than I care to imagine. Also some of them genuinely have a death wish – the amount of times I have been in a taxi and feared for a cyclists life is just not cool.

Rant over. London friends don’t hate me, just be thankful I wont be permanently taking up any of the much needed space on the tube any time soon…..

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